Our Letter
Writing Tips
A One-Letter Wonder
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Go on – spoil your friend. Writing a letter is like giving a hand-made gift. Make it special by buying new stationery that you know they will enjoy.
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You’ll need their address – we often don’t have addresses anymore so you may need to ask.
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Don’t be daunted – write a short note or postcard first saying that you’ve heard the news, you’re thinking of them and you will write them a letter soon.
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Don’t be scared - It’s fine to say that you don’t know what they are going through. Don’t drift away from your friend.
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Write from the heart- no matter how clumsy the words, if it’s heartfelt, you can’t go wrong.
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Get it to the post box – whether your letter is handwritten or typed up and printed off, as long as it makes its way into an envelope and into the post, you’ve done a wonderful thing
In It For The Long Term
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You’ve written one, write another! Your friend will feel supported by your continued correspondence.
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Collect stories, quotes, witty anecdotes, poems. All these things can fill your letters. If you can make your friend smile and feel connected with your world, they will feel less isolated in their own.
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Be mindful of where they are in their cancer journey – in the early stages you may want to ask about their treatments and plans but in the later stages this may be less appropriate.
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Let the gossip flow – keep them in touch with life at work or social gossip, giving them a link to the real world. You could start a humorous day-to-day journal of what’s been happening in the office and include it in your letters.
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Don’t feel guilty that you’re having fun – tell your friend about films you’ve seen, concerts you’ve been to, books you’ve read. They want to hear about normal lives.
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It doesn’t always have to be words. Don’t fancy writing today - send a drawing instead or illustrate your own postcard, order a customised card or post a book or a magazine.
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Twenty questions – send a list of questions that you don’t know about them e.g. favourite film, secret wish. Send your answers too. It may encourage them to write back, and will also deepen your friendship.
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Don’t go on about other people with cancer. As soon as we hear someone has cancer, our natural instinct seems to be to talk about someone else we know who has it too. That’s fine if you think there may some mutual support there but be respectful that everyone’s experience is personal and different.
Tips from our Workshops
While letters are a great way to reach out to a friend with cancer, we know that getting the first letter started can be difficult; what to say without sounding morbid, patronising or clichéd? Here, in our workshop blog, we have included some letters and sample opening paragraphs to help you overcome your fears.
